Kamikaze Skips

Kamikaze Skips
Giving the game away before roll up.
It’s the first game of the new pennant season. Your team won a flag last season and you’ve gone up a division. You’d think your skip would be preparing himself for the challenges of a higher division accordingly. Or at the very least rocking up to the club for a practice during the week.


Not going out and getting pissed the night before and coming home at 5.00 in the morning.
Not deciding to use a set of unfamiliar- ‘new’ bowls he’s never EVER tried or tested before.
Not using kamikaze tactics, undermining- knocking out the head building bowls of his team mates.


But then again Paul Soldatich isn’t your average or a so called rational skip.

Only thick skinned bowlers survive his rinks- under his leadership.
He’s been known to belittle team mates during matches with smart arse one liners like.
“ I’d get more [closer bowls ] from a bare foot bowler than what I’m getting from you today.”
The opposition on the adjoining rink were visibly taken aback during our match when I shouted out.
“ It’s taken you 10 ends to put down a decent bowl you clown.”
That was after he delivered a perfect ditch to ditch drive to take out their shot bowl.


We ended up going down by 3 shots after giving them a scare and snatching a brief lead at around ‘3 Quarter Time’.
I pulled him aside after the game and frankly told him.
“ If you had used your ABT2000s we would have got up by 10 shots.”
In his irrepressible way he retorted with a classic ‘Soldatichism’
“ Yeah, we would have flogged them.”


I’m looking forward to participating in a few Soldatich floggings this season watching those ABTs do their magic. Hopefully on Saturday afternoons when he doesn’t rock up to games with a belly full of piss and in a sleep deprived daze.
I’ll gladly deputize as his 3rd and stomach the sometimes irrational kamikaze tactics.

“ Who put that short shit there. I was on target to pick up the kitty and trail it back for 6.”