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Type: Posts; User: Swifty

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  1. Replies
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    Re: THONGS(For Feet) ARE HERE

    I'm a Queenslander. I grew up in thongs. I love the idea. Not sure about paying $70 for them, though.
  2. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
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    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    I met someone yesterday who said he was a reincarnation of the seventh avatar of the Hindu God Vishnu and is also a member of the school bell choir.

    That would make him a Rama Llama Ding Dong.
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    Re: End to large rings

    The new Law says the large ring is no longer mandatory. Doesn't mean it MUST be removed. You can still have it. Just that manufacturers no longer have to put it on.
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    Re: Bowls training/ practice drills and ideas.

    All of the above sounds too complicated. All I do is go out with 4 bowls. The first 2 I try to draw as close as possible. The next 2 I try to take the shot away by whatever means is suggested by...
  5. Thread: Graham Leeks

    by Swifty
    Replies
    0
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    603

    Graham Leeks

    This notice appeared on Sherro's site today:

    November 7, 2016
    http://www.osborneparkbc.com.au/assets/images/rosebud_three.gif
    It is with huge sadness we announce the sudden passing of...
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    Liquor and poker

    Some day I'm going to open up a liquor store with a casino in the back and have a big sign out front that reads: Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear!
  7. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
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    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the Zoo today.

    Apparently, it was bread in captivity.

    - - - Updated - - -

    The government has invested $10 million in research on the effects of marijuana...
  8. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
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    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    An oldie, but......................... What the hell!

    A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

    "I think it's...
  9. Thread: Best Comeback?

    by Swifty
    Replies
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    520

    Best Comeback?

    I was just wondering, what is your best put-down?

    Many years ago, I was trying to break into a Rugby team. A "mate", who was in the team, said to me, "It's no wonder you can't get a game,...
  10. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
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    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    A guy goes into a Scottish baker's.

    "How much is that cake?" "A poond."

    "And how much is that one?"

    "A poond. All ma cakes are a poond!"

    "Oh, OK. What about that one?"
  11. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    Q. Where did Noah keep his bees?

    A. In the Ark hives.
  12. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    I opened both my water and electricity bills at once.

    Needless to say, I was shocked.
  13. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic.

    When I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Q. Which is worse - ignorance or apathy?

    A. I don't know and I...
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    Re: Noddy(john albert)

    Sad to hear. Funny how you can get to know someone without ever meeting him. RIP Noddy.
  15. Re: 3 bowl pairs V 2x2x2x2 pairs - which do you prefer?

    I hate playing 2x2x2x2. You spend all day walking up and down the green. And if you've got a dodgy back that needs to be rested occasionally, there's no chance to take a break. I simply won't play...
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    Re: Scratching My Head

    Yeah, I found that out later. I'm not happy with myself. I sincerely apologise to the world for my choice.

    Like I said, I had no idea who to give that last vote to. I saw the name and figured...
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    Scratching My Head

    Well, I've just been and done my duty.

    It was harder than usual this year, with the new Senate paper. I voted 1 to 5 all right, but after that I was stuck. Who to give the number 6 vote to?
    I...
  18. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    My next door neighbour knocked on my door wearing just a see through negligee, asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then asked to come in for a cup of coffee.

    I said "Bugger off Dave, I've got to...
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    Re: Deliberate Non-Sporting Action

    I think it comes under the catch-all section (can't remember the Law number, and you can't look it up on-line any more) that says that anyone infringing the Laws will be disqualified.
  20. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    A.A.A.D.D. – KNOW THE SYMPTOMS

    Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

    Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated...
  21. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    I'm a believer ! From now on, I'll believe ...

    I decided to go to the local Church for the first time, to see what it was all about. I sat down and the Minister came up to me, laid his hands on...
  22. Re: Umpire's decision appealed against but not yet ruled on before the next round.

    You're right, Budda. If a club is running a tournament there is no reason they can't make a ruling before the next round.

    The problem comes when a club is holding a comp on behalf of the State...
  23. Thread: Chuckle Spot

    by Swifty
    Replies
    2,447
    Views
    175,223

    Sticky: Re: Chuckle Spot

    There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club
    ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner,
    who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you...
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    Re: Can you have too many State Titles?

    I'm in two minds about this now. Yes, you should honour a commitment and not enter two comps at once. On the other hand, if you're thrown into a competition whether you like it or not, then nobody...
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    Re: Can you have too many State Titles?

    I don't know what happens over there, but in WA you aren't automatically entered in the C of C comp. You have to tell them you're playing. BWA don't make up the draw until they know who's playing. ...
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